How To Overcome Shame And Let The Real You Shine

An Open Letter

Have any of you ever felt inferior to your peers?

How about having feelings of unworthiness in comparison to others?

I know I have from time to time… Regrettably, it’s human nature.

But far too often it’s these very feelings that hold you back from truly living LIFE. That’s why I wanted to write about this very topic that kills happiness for so many women, and teach you ways to overcome it so that you can get on with living a happy, fulfilling life.

What I’m referring to is SHAME.

Shame is that feeling that says “I’m inadequate, I’m flawed, , I’m wrong, I’m bad, I’m unimportant, undeserving or not enough.” And maybe more specifically, you aren’t enough as "A mother, daughter, sister, wife, or friend.”

Shame is the culprit responsible for why so many of us find comfort in playing it safe…..for reasons of fear, rejection, or vulnerability.

So we end up choosing a safe job, a safe partner, and often safe friends.

But what inevitably happens is that you end up rejecting what makes your soul sing and suppressing the very values you hold dear to your heart.

You’ll put these walls up around yourself thinking they’ll protect you, but actually they end up keeping you from being seen and heard. They keep you from truly living the life you were put here to live… and that means…

Keeping you from making real, impactful contributions to this world. The contributions you were born to make.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Shame has a nasty way of creeping into your life…often going unnoticed for days, weeks, months or even years until one day you wake up totally dissatisfied with parts of your life stemming from those feelings of smallness, insignificance, and unworthiness.

And worse yet…. in order to make yourself feel better, you might resort to picking on others. The rationale being..“If I point out your flaws, nobody will see mine.”

Because you feel threatened and unsafe you hide the parts of yourself that makes you perfectly imperfect.

But what you fail to notice is that your flaws (from your viewpoint) may actually be someone else’s ideal.

What you’re struggling with today, I guarantee countless others are struggling with that exact same thing too.

While we all have flaws, personal struggles, and annoying imperfections, the only person who holds the authority to define what those are, is YOU.


Until you decide to start risking being vulnerable, fearful, and accept potential ridicule, or being made fun of, or being rejected, you’ll forever risk your own greatness.

It isn’t until you decide to let your walls down and allow yourself to be exposed that you can begin to let your inner light shine.

I know it’s scary …..but what’s the alternative?

Recognizing your vulnerabilities and sharing them is what enables others to then help you, support you, love you and encourage you to be the TRUE YOU.

And that’s what will allow you to finally start Living Out Your Greatness.

We are all PEOPLE with amazing and special talents, instincts and foresight that only our individual unique life experiences could have molded.

Starting today, I want to encourage you to begin increasing your own self-awareness of your distinct uniqueness’s that only you own and possess... by thinking about all ways you have not been true to yourself. And then forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for all of the thoughts, beliefs, and actions that have kept you playing small. Next, confide and allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of those you trust…your biggest supporters. When you “out” your insecurities they are no longer able to control you. Begin rewriting your script, and come up with new beliefs and affirmations to say whenever these insecurities, negative thoughts, etc. bubble up. Finally, think about what actionable steps you can take here and now to honor the parts of you that make you special, that would add value to your life and to the lives of those around you... the parts that you’ve been abandoning and withholding from this world.

By allowing yourself to be vulnerable…. You’ll set yourself free and light your soul on fire!

And that is what life’s all about.

​"Never apologize for who you are. It lets the whole world down”.- Jen Sincero

Yours for more confidence more often,

Kristyn Haster


Kristyn Haster

About the Author

Kristyn Haster

Kristyn Haster is a Lifestyle Blogger, Weight Loss Trainer and Self-Confidence Coach living in Boulder, Colorado. As Editor of (Crazy Confident You) Blog, she helps woman break out of their shells, gain total confidence and fall in love with life again.

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