A Simple Hack to Ignite The Fire In Your Relationship!

Do You Know Which of the 5 Love Languages
You and Your Partner Speak?

If not, then this post is especially for you!  Knowing the love language of your relationship is the real secret to effective communication and lasting love. According to Gary Chapman, author and renowned marriage counselor, there are 5 love languages that we use to express our love effectively.

You see, most of us grew up learning about relationships and love from our parents, close relatives, and family friends.  And as such, it’s highly likely that the love you witnessed by your role models as a youth shaped your understanding and current expression of love as an adult.

Now, as you entered a relationship and marriage later in life, you brought with you your own unique definition of love and technique for expressing it.  Although you likely know love is critical in any relationship you may not always know how to express it in a way that your partner effectively and positively receives it.  This means him or her always understanding that your intentions are coming from a place of love and not spite or ill will.   Increasing your awareness of what your love language is, will help you reconnect and re-ignite the fire in your relationship and get closer to him/her than ever before!

Gary Chapman says, “Each and every one of us falls under one of these 5 categories of love.”  And once you really understand and speak each other’s love language the connection and bond between one another really begins to flourish.

Now for the Five Languages of LOVE:

Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation

To this person…..Words are very important.  If this is you then your love language consists of expressing and receiving your love through compliments and words of affirmation.  This person treasures hearing the words, “I love you”.  And words such as insults and complaints are really taken to heart.

Love Language #2: Acts of Service

To this person…….Action speaks louder than words.  If Acts of service are your love language, then you view your partner helping out with household chores, kids, the office, etc. as the best way of him showing his love and appreciation of you.

Love Language #3: Time

To this person……Time means giving them your undivided attention.  Watching movies, walks in the park, talking, laugh, bonding, are all fantastic ways of showing this person you really care.  Your gift of time is more important than anything else.  Spending time with this person is the best way to express your love for them.

Love Language #4: Receiving Gifts

To this person……..Giving a card, flowers, jewelry, season tickets, and the like is the most effective way of showing this person your affection.  This person views receiving material things as signs of love.

Love Language #5: Physical Touch

To this person….simple kisses, hugs, or other embraces from your partner are the best ways to express your affection for them so they feel the most loved.

So How About You? 

Which of these 5 love languages are you speaking? How about your partner?

Go ahead and Find out NOW by taking this short love language quiz!

THE 2 MINUTE QUIZ

For each pair of the following statements, circle the one that describes you best. If you’re not currently in a relationship, try to imagine how you would like to be treated if you were. Or think about how you like to be treated by family members and close friends.

1. I like to receive encouraging or affirming notes  A

I like to be hugged  E

2. I like to spend one-to-one time with close friends  B

I feel loved when someone gives me practical help  D

3. I like it when people give me gifts  C

I like leisurely visits with friends and loved ones  B

4. I feel loved when people do things to help me  D

I feel loved when people give me a reassuring hand shake or hug  E

5. I feel loved when someone I love or admire puts their arm around me  E

I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I admire or love  C

6. I like to go places with friends or loved ones  B

I like to high-five or slap around with friends who are special to me  E

7. Visible symbols of love (such as gifts) are important to me  C

I feel loved when people affirm me  A

8. I like to sit close to people I enjoy being around E

I like it when people tell me I’m attractive/handsome  A

9. I like to spend time with friends and loved ones  B

I like to receive little gifts from friends and loved ones  C

10. Words of acceptance are important to me  A

I know someone loves me when he or she helps me  D

11. I like being together and doing things with friends & loved ones  B

I like it when kind words are spoken to me  A

12. What someone does affects me far more than what they say  D

Hugs make me feel connected and valued  E

13. I value praise and try to avoid criticism  A

Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift  C

14. I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together  B

I feel closer to friends & loved ones when we wrestle, hug or shake hands  E

15. I like for people to complement my achievements  A

I know people love me when they do things for me they don‟t enjoy doing  D

16. I like for people to cross the street to shake hands or hug when they see me  E

I like when people listen to me & show genuine interest in what I‟m saying  B

17. I feel loved when friends and loved ones help me with jobs or projects  D

I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends and loved ones  C

18. I like for people to complement my appearance  A

I feel loved when people take time to understand my feelings  B

19. I feel secure when a special person is physically close to me  E

Acts of service make me feel loved  D

20. I appreciate the many things that special people do for me  D

I like to receive gifts that special people make for me  C

21. I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives me undivided attention  B

I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone does some act to serve me  D

22.  I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with a gift  C

I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with meaningful words  A

23. I know a person is thinking of me when they give me a gift  C

I feel loved when a person helps me with my chores or tasks  D

24.  I appreciate it when someone listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt me  B

I appreciate it when someone remembers special days with a gift  C

25. I like knowing loved ones are concern enough to help with my daily tasks  D

I enjoy extended trips with someone who is special to me  B

26. I don’t mind the “kiss-hello‟ with friends I am close to  E

Receiving a gift given for no special reason excites me  C

27. I like to be told that I am appreciated  A

I like for a person to look at me when they are talking  B

28. Gifts from a friend or loved one are always special to me  C

I feel good when a friend or loved one hugs or touches me  E

29. I feel loved when a person enthusiastically does some task I have requested  D

I feel loved when I am told how much I am appreciated  A

30. I need physical contact with people everyday  E

I need words of encouragement and affirmation everyday  A

Now go through your quiz again and count how many “A, B, C, D and Es” you circled and place the number in below.

TOTALS:

A: ________ B: ________ C: ________ D: ________ E: ________

Which letter has your highest score? That is your primary love language:

A = Words of Affirmation

B = Quality Time

C = Receiving Gifts

D = Acts of Service

E = Physical Touch

Hope this Helps…

Yours for More Confidence, More Often

Kristyn Haster